It was recently brought to my attention that I use a lot of ‘sayings’ throughout my day. What comes around goes around, don’t judge a book by its cover, the glass is half full, etc… I always ask my girls if they understand what I mean, never wanting to miss out on a teaching moment.
It was my 7th grader who pointed it out one day when she was impatiently waiting for water to boil. Full mac and cheese anticipation. ‘A watched pot never boils,’ spilled out of my mouth. ‘I know Mom, you’ve said that, like, a million times,’ she said, apparently impatient with me too. ‘You always say things like that.
’Huh. I didn’t realize that had become my thing. Could be worse.
So you can imagine my delight when she came to me yesterday and seemed excited to add a saying to our growing mental list. A mischievous smile spread across her face, then she spoke these wise words...
'Don’t poop in the stew.'
Well. Not quite a classic and, um, well...pretty gross. However…
I had good chuckle about it because I am immature and bathroom humor is right up my alley. Then my daughter and I got down to brass tacks and dug deeper into the meaning.
This is not simply a literal directive, one that I can't imagine many people need to be told, but hey, different strokes. There is more here than meets the eye. My daughter explained it this way. Say someone goes to the trouble of making a delicious stew and puts it on a stovetop to simmer. Then, someone else comes along and drops in the tiniest, most infinitesimal amount of poop. The stew is ruined. Even a molecular drop renders the whole batch garbage-worthy.
Much like negativity, gossip or a selfish agenda can ruin a relationship. Or whiney and fidgety kids can ruin a family dinner out, or a long car ride, or a trip to the grocery store.
Ahh.
We've all been to that restaurant, in that car, or pushing that shopping cart. And how many times have we been in situations that leave us feeling marginalized or cut down to size by seemingly the smallest of things. An eye roll, a disapproving once over, or a passive aggressive comment meant to be funny, but the little bit of truth in it stings. Our actions, or inactions, have so much more power than we realize.
Confession. I have ruined my share of stews over the years. It has taken the form of negativity…when my glass has felt half empty, I over shared. I was a big fat negative Nelly. More subtly, I have been less of a giver in some relationships and more of a taker. Never with intention, but looking back, I see that I did it. Withholding vulnerability is not good for friendships. I have pooped in the stews of people I love and care about. I’d much prefer to be a ray of sunshine than, well, poop.
Easier said than done, another oldie but goodie. So is, actions speak louder than words.
If I know that I need to be slapped in the face with these reminders, that likely means my kids do too. Yes, the words are catchy and easy to spout off (I’m proof, my children will confirm this), but their meanings hold so much more value and beg to be discussed! So that’s what we do. It’s often annoying, sometimes appreciated, but always done to gain understanding of the big picture.
My takeaway in this is not to keep track of other peoples’ pooping habits, only mine. I want to shine the spotlight on me, to look within, and challenge myself to make my personal interactions positive ones. Truly, why would I want them to be anything less?
Years ago, I cut out and taped a quote from a magazine on the inside of one of my kitchen cabinets, a gentle reminder in a high traffic spot. The corners are curling and the tape has yellowed, but the message still holds true and it is a far prettier way to say ‘No Number Two in the Stew’.
“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”
-Mother Teresa
It’s so simple!!!! Can you picture our world if everyone followed that guideline in tending to their stews? It gives me chills. The key is remembering. Remembering that withholding a smile can have just as enormous an impact as giving one. This is not about grand, sweeping gestures of kindness, but more about humble acts. And recognizing the power that each of us has every single day, to shine our lights or cast shadows.
Okay, so I hereby vow to leave my friends, family and complete strangers, better than when I found them. I will become the Poop Nazi. NO POOP FOR YOU! (Please get my Seinfeld reference, please get my Seinfeld reference, please get.....) My stew pooping days are over. From now on it's hugs, smiles, gentle arm squeezes and confirming peoples' existence. I mean, this isn’t rocket science people…easy peasy, lemon squeezy, right?
Making lemonade,
Abby
It was my 7th grader who pointed it out one day when she was impatiently waiting for water to boil. Full mac and cheese anticipation. ‘A watched pot never boils,’ spilled out of my mouth. ‘I know Mom, you’ve said that, like, a million times,’ she said, apparently impatient with me too. ‘You always say things like that.
’Huh. I didn’t realize that had become my thing. Could be worse.
So you can imagine my delight when she came to me yesterday and seemed excited to add a saying to our growing mental list. A mischievous smile spread across her face, then she spoke these wise words...
'Don’t poop in the stew.'
Well. Not quite a classic and, um, well...pretty gross. However…
I had good chuckle about it because I am immature and bathroom humor is right up my alley. Then my daughter and I got down to brass tacks and dug deeper into the meaning.
This is not simply a literal directive, one that I can't imagine many people need to be told, but hey, different strokes. There is more here than meets the eye. My daughter explained it this way. Say someone goes to the trouble of making a delicious stew and puts it on a stovetop to simmer. Then, someone else comes along and drops in the tiniest, most infinitesimal amount of poop. The stew is ruined. Even a molecular drop renders the whole batch garbage-worthy.
Much like negativity, gossip or a selfish agenda can ruin a relationship. Or whiney and fidgety kids can ruin a family dinner out, or a long car ride, or a trip to the grocery store.
Ahh.
We've all been to that restaurant, in that car, or pushing that shopping cart. And how many times have we been in situations that leave us feeling marginalized or cut down to size by seemingly the smallest of things. An eye roll, a disapproving once over, or a passive aggressive comment meant to be funny, but the little bit of truth in it stings. Our actions, or inactions, have so much more power than we realize.
Confession. I have ruined my share of stews over the years. It has taken the form of negativity…when my glass has felt half empty, I over shared. I was a big fat negative Nelly. More subtly, I have been less of a giver in some relationships and more of a taker. Never with intention, but looking back, I see that I did it. Withholding vulnerability is not good for friendships. I have pooped in the stews of people I love and care about. I’d much prefer to be a ray of sunshine than, well, poop.
Easier said than done, another oldie but goodie. So is, actions speak louder than words.
If I know that I need to be slapped in the face with these reminders, that likely means my kids do too. Yes, the words are catchy and easy to spout off (I’m proof, my children will confirm this), but their meanings hold so much more value and beg to be discussed! So that’s what we do. It’s often annoying, sometimes appreciated, but always done to gain understanding of the big picture.
My takeaway in this is not to keep track of other peoples’ pooping habits, only mine. I want to shine the spotlight on me, to look within, and challenge myself to make my personal interactions positive ones. Truly, why would I want them to be anything less?
Years ago, I cut out and taped a quote from a magazine on the inside of one of my kitchen cabinets, a gentle reminder in a high traffic spot. The corners are curling and the tape has yellowed, but the message still holds true and it is a far prettier way to say ‘No Number Two in the Stew’.
“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”
-Mother Teresa
It’s so simple!!!! Can you picture our world if everyone followed that guideline in tending to their stews? It gives me chills. The key is remembering. Remembering that withholding a smile can have just as enormous an impact as giving one. This is not about grand, sweeping gestures of kindness, but more about humble acts. And recognizing the power that each of us has every single day, to shine our lights or cast shadows.
Okay, so I hereby vow to leave my friends, family and complete strangers, better than when I found them. I will become the Poop Nazi. NO POOP FOR YOU! (Please get my Seinfeld reference, please get my Seinfeld reference, please get.....) My stew pooping days are over. From now on it's hugs, smiles, gentle arm squeezes and confirming peoples' existence. I mean, this isn’t rocket science people…easy peasy, lemon squeezy, right?
Making lemonade,
Abby
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